Just the other day, as I was helping a student she said, “I just suck at this.” Believe it or not but this kind of talk is very common for young artists. Maybe you have even said something like it yourself. My response to this was “You don’t suck. You’re just learning!”  I don’t know if that got through to her or not but it made me think. And sometimes when I get thinking, it turns into a blog post. So here it is.
Not too long ago I had a frustrated student say “Some people just have a lot of natural…” At this point I thought he was going to finish by saying “Natural talent and, I’m not one of them” (The myth of natural talent coming in a future blog post) But that is not what he said. He said, “Natural suckage, and I am one of them”. I was shocked! Did this student actually believe that there was such a thing as “Natural Suckage”? To my surprise there were some other students in the room who started agreeing with him. Natural Suckage! Really? I knew that there was a problem with negative talk among some of my students but this is when I realized how big the problem really was. These students were not just saying this out of frustration but deep down they really believed it. Because what I do is very skill based I hear these kinds of things a lot. I am sure that it is not just in my art class either. I am sure people are saying these types of things no matter what skill they are learning whether it is Art, Music, Math, Cooking, Soccer, or anything else that requires you to work hard to learn a specific skill. Not being very skilled at something isn’t the problem. The problem comes when you believe that you can’t learn a skill simply because you suck.
This goes beyond just thinking that you aren’t any good at something. It is the belief that you can’t get better. I recently had a student who was taking his turn on the pottery wheel. Because of my class size, the amount of classes in the semester and the limited number of pottery wheels we have in the classroom each student only gets two days on the wheel. Because it is so short of a time and not nearly enough time to really learn how to throw on the wheel I expect my students to make the most of those two days and spend the entire class working. After about 30 minutes into the first day this student stormed off in frustration. He threw his hands in the air and said “I can’t do this, It’s too hard” my immediate response was “Well… you have to try” still frustrated he snaps back “I did try. I tried three times and I couldn’t get the clay centered.” I will admit, I may not have handled the situation the best because all I could do was laugh and say “Three times! Try 300!” he didn’t think it was very funny but the point still stands. Anything worth doing is going to require work and trying something three times is hardly trying at all. Needless to say this student never got back on the wheel.
These students have what I will call “Imagined Natural Suckage” As I explained before, there is no such thing as natural suckage.
So now that we have identified the problem, how do we go about changing a long ingrained belief system in my students, or in myself, or you for that matter? It is something that I have spent many hours pondering and trying to help my students overcome.
Here are a few ways that I have found to overcome the feeling of “Imaginary Natural Suckage”. These point’s don’t only apply to learning art but they can apply to anything you are trying to get better at, whether it is artistic, sports, parenting, music, math, writing, etc.
#1 Stop comparing yourself to others
There will always be someone better then you at something. You will never be the best at everything. The point is to be the best that you can be and eventually, if you work really hard, you might get to the point where you actually are the best at something. Of course when you are to that point you most likely won’t even think you are because you will see how much better you want to be. I see students all the time who will take their first art class and immediately start comparing themselves to the students who have been drawing there whole life. If you have ever done this you are being unfair to yourself. Stop now. You be you, and try your hardest, and that will always be good enough.
#2 Commit to practicing
Getting good at something takes time. When I told my student “try 300” I wasn’t exaggerating. In fact go further… try 3,000. I can guarantee your 3,000th pot will be better than your 300th. If you are learning a new instrument give yourselves 5 years. Then see how well you can play. Anybody who has dedicated a significant amount of time to an instrument will tell you that the first year of playing is barely scratching the surface of your potential. How many of us quite after the first month? Apathy is a killer. Some people will say they just don’t care about anything enough to commit that much time and effort to it. Well… you need to start somewhere. Find something you enjoy doing and in the process of practicing and years of working at your skill you will become passionate about it.
#3 Stop the negative self talk
Your words influence your beliefs and your beliefs influence your words. If you are not careful it is a never ending spiral downward till you are drowning in negativity. You need to make a conscious effort to stop negative self talk. And if you ever find yourself saying that you stink at something you need to counteract it with saying something positive. Turn what you said negative around and say something positive. This might seem silly but it is important. Some people who aren’t experienced with positive affirmations will think it is silly because they don’t do it right. They will turn the negative “I suck at drawing” into “I am the best drawer ever!” Do they believe this? Of course not! And as they are saying it they know they are lying to themselves. The goal is not to lie to yourself but to positively build yourself up with something that you can actually believe. Turn “I suck at drawing” into “I can work hard to get better at drawing.” See… much more believable. Don’t turn “This is hard” into “this is easy” because it’s not. Instead turn “This is hard” into “I can do hard things”
My wife likes to ask herself questions instead of statements. If she ever finds herself being negative about something like getting our kids to help around the house, she won’t say “I’m so frustrated! These kids never help with anything!” Instead she asks “How do I get these kids to clean up so well?” When you ask yourself questions your mind will work overtime, even subconsciously to help you come up with a solution. This can be a very powerful kind of positive affirmation.
Meditation
#4 Meditate
A big part of the problem is anxiety. I see people get anxious about all sorts of things. In my classroom I see students get nervous and frustrated after they have made one line on a piece of paper. That line might have taken them 10 minutes to finally build up the courage to draw and now they feel like their line doesn’t look good enough and when I walk around near them they immediately cover up their paper so I can’t see their “Imaginary Suckage”. These students have Anxiety.
If we think in terms of energy, Anxiety is when our energy is dispersed and we have many problems going on in our minds and hearts that our energy is trying to fix and worry about. Often times those problems are also imaginary but to an anxious person imagined or not, the problems still feel the same. When we are anxious we are worried about multiple things while trying to concentrate on another and then wondering what might happen when, or if, something else happens, none of which you seem to have any control over which makes you more anxious. Our energy is not being productive because it is trying to do too many things at once. And, in the end whatever you were trying to do ends up failing. Then our “Imaginary Natural Suckage” has been confirmed and our belief becomes even more ingrained.
Meditation is a great way to overcome anxiety. There are many purposes and benefits to meditation but in this case what we are trying to do is focus our energy and apply it to the task at hand. This is not a blog post about various methods of mediation, so I will not go into detail on ways to meditate but I encourage you to research methods yourself. Maybe that would be a good topic for another blog post. I will often teach my students a few meditation techniques to help with anxiety. There are always some who think it’s silly but a good amount of my students love it. Every once in a while I will catch one of my students sitting there in the position I taught them with their eyes closed and breathing slowly. These students are tuning everything out around them and focusing their energy to their artwork. Once they are finished they get to work. And guess what. When they aren’t anxious they do great work that they are proud of.
So I repeat… You don’t suck. You are just learning!
I hope these point’s are able to help you in some aspect of your life. Do you have any other things that have helped you overcome the feelings of “Natural Suckage”? If you do, let me know in the comments below. If you think this post could help someone else please share it with them.