This week I am going to break away from my regular format of updating you on the artistic things I did this week, and instead I am going to tell you a story. This is a personal and true story and in it I am going to talk about my childhood, and something that I struggled with as a child. I’m going to talk about God, and a little bit about art. You won’t see many pictures (Like the one below, which is only in this post because it is a picture of me when I was in High School) but if you read it to the end, I think it will be worth your time.
The Band Alter Ego, Comprised of Patrick Collier, Daniel Borup, and Jeff Stafford.
This was my band in High School.
I have been thinking about this story because this week I have been working on writing a new artist Bio. The one I currently have on my website is alright. But I don’t really feel like it tells my story. So I have been thinking about the person I am and who I used to be and the things that have happened in my life that have made me into the person I am today.
When I was younger I had what would be now called “Learning Disabilities” I am glad that I didn’t grow up in this day and age because the school system may have put me in special classes and gave me special help which although really does help many children I don’t feel like it would have been good for me.
My struggles mostly involved reading, and because everything other subject requires reading I also struggled in Math Science and History in addition to my English classes and anything involving writing. For quite some time I felt like I was stupid. In fact, Art was the only thing I was ever really good at. It was the only part of my life that I didn’t feel like I was lacking in something.
It didn’t help growing up with smart siblings either. To me it appeared like my oldest brother Breezed through school and didn’t really have to try to get good grades. All his teachers loved him; he was put in gifted and talented classes, and could do no wrong. My sister just younger than him would sometimes come home and talk about the test she had failed. Later I figured out that to her a B+ meant she was failing. My other brother was a certified genius. He had actually taken the tests to get into MENSA, the smart people organization. Needless to say, as the youngest child, I had a lot to live up to. I’m sure that they had struggles in their own way. But the point is, I felt pretty inferior when I compared myself to them.
Luckily my parents did a really good job of not comparing me to my older siblings. They would help me where I needed help and tried to cultivate my strengths. My parents were buying my oil paints when I was in 5th grade. They encouraged me to enter art shows at a very young age. My mother would read with me, play Phonics games with me, and constantly tell me I could do hard things. When I say constantly I mean constantly. Sometimes I would walk into a room and She would look me in the eye and say “Daniel, You can do hard things.” The funny thing is that I eventually believed her… I still do.
Eventually something clicked. My mother’s constant support and belief in me helped but it was more than that. It was God comforting me. One day I heard a scripture. This scripture said:
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” –Ether 12:27
Wow! How powerful is that? To think that God cared about me enough to help me make one of my weaknesses into one of my strengths! Was it really possible? The stage was set and I was determined to learn to read. God was speaking to me and telling me the answers to my struggles. I did a lot of praying and a lot of scripture reading, and ultimately increased my faith in God. Soon enough I wasn’t half bad at reading. I could get through my Homework and it didn’t take me hours to do. I graduated High School and got accepted to college.
Because I didn’t do very well in my high school English classes, the college I went to made me take remedial English classes before I could do anything else. During that class I had to take a few reading and comprehension tests. I found out that I was reading at a Junior in college reading level! In about a years time and lots of help from God, I had changed from someone who dreaded being called on to read out loud, To someone who could read as well as a junior in college! If that isn’t miracle right there I don’t know what is. “You can do hard things” my mom would tell me. And she was right.
Not only did I get better at reading. I also started to enjoy it! I started reading fiction for fun. I started taking more English classes. I actually declared my minor as English Education. I passed the English Praxis Test certifying me to teach English in the state of Idaho!
Now how does this apply to me as an artist? Well, what am I doing right now? I am writing. I write a weekly blog about my art and I enjoy it. This is something I would have never thought I would be doing 15 years ago. I wanted to be an artist so I wouldn’t have to do things like read and write. Boy was I wrong. In fact I would say between being a Public School Teacher and being an Artist. I write way more as an artist then I ever have to as a Teacher. I apply for art calls, apply for grants, apply for shows, create content for my website and write weekly blog posts. All of these things require a lot of reading and writing. Without Gods help with reading I know I would not be the artist I am today. Am I a good writer? Well… that’s up for debate, but I do it, and isn’t that what really matters?
This is struggle I had in my life has had a very profound effect on me in my life. It is one of my defining moments. It makes me who I am, and it comes out in my artwork. Much of my work deals with human struggles and the strength of the human spirit in overcoming those struggles.
I hope that my story and my artwork will inspire you to be strong. To turn towards God, however you view him, and accept his help in your life. If I can help inspire with my art then I will have completed my mission in my life.
What do you think? Have you had similar struggles in your life? Can Art really inspire people to overcome their struggles? Has this story or my artwork helped and inspired you?
Art was my safe zone. I grew up poor and with a kind of hard childhood. Art was something that gave my life color. It was something that I could do and no one could tell me other wise. I feel like art is looked down on at times. People compare it to the maths and sciences. Can’t art be great even if it will never help me figure out how soon a train is going to get to the next station? I have seen so many people struggle with things, and then find art. They find something that they can create. Something they can control. It’s amazing how fast their out look changes.
To answer your last questions, yes. I have had my own struggles, mostly unseen by those around me. I think it is that way for most everybody. And yes, art in all its forms have helped to push me through the hardest of those times. For me personally it is music. There have been a handful of songs that have seemed to be a recurring theme as the background music for my life, giving me strength I thought I had lost or renewing a flame of hope that had been nearly choked out. And the times I have felt the most resilient to my struggles have been the times when I was able to share my talents with others. I am always so grateful to know that there is a plan for me, even though I do not always know what the plan is. As I trudge through the hardships I can always remember that God is with me, molding me into someone better than I could be myself. It can sometimes feel unbearably painful to feel torn down and disfigured. But in the end, there is always a more beautiful version of me. I am beginning to understand what it means to be clay in the potter’s hands. Seeing others, like you, share their own stories of being molded gives me strength to keep working toward overcoming my own. I think the most beautiful and inspiring thing is that we are each our own work of art.